Saturday, January 11, 2014

What's been on my mind lately

Well, it's been a long time since I posted anything on here but last night when I woke up to feed Kendyl (yep we had another baby) I was looking through facebook and thoughts started racing through my mind so I turned to Heavenly Father in prayer and scanned the newly read chapters of the Book of Mormon that I had just read. Afterwards I felt like I needed to write down my feelings so that's what I'm trying to do now.

Lately it seems like there's been a lot of negative posts on facebook about the church that I belong to. Mainly those posts are from people who once were members and some from people who still are. A lot of it is due to doctrine, changes, past leaders etc... Every time I read these things my heart ached and I've kind of felt numb inside. Last night hit me a different way though and I felt prompted to both pray and read my marked scriptures.

After I finished my prayer I was reminded of the spiritual experience I had with my family as we prayed together around my fathers bed only nights before he passed away. At the time I had felt prompted to write something down about the experience but never did and I now regret that. The spirit was sooo strong and all those things I already believed about the gospel and my Heavenly Father's love for me were made known stronger as we all stood together as a family bearing our testimonies through prayer. It truly was a sacred time.

Next as I scanned the verses I had marked this past week I read from 1 Nephi Chapter 4:1-3 which reads...
"...let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; for behold he is mightier than Laban and his fifty, yea, or even than his tens of thousands? Therefore let us go up; let us be strong like unto Moses; for he truly spake unto the waters of the Red Sea and they divided hither and thither, and our fathers came through, out of captivity, on dry ground, and the armies of Pharaoh did follow and were drowned in the waters of the Red Sea. Now behold ye know that this is true; and ye also know that an angel hath spoken unto you; wherefore can ye doubt?"
What struck me this time as I read it was that I/we need to be faithful and keep the commandments. Mainly though the part that really made an impact was the last part where it talks about knowing that it's true and if I do why would I/we doubt.

I have NEVER doubted my testimony, I think that is a gift Heavenly Father has given me, to have a strong unwavering testimony. That doesn't mean I know everything or am super knowledgeable, it just means that I have faith and I believe what I have been taught. I know some people struggle with their testimonies and start to feel like they need all the answers but for me that is not the case. I feel like I know a lot but I'm also continually learning but along with that I have a testimony of the gospel and have time and time again felt the spirit tell me that the church is true. That's why my prayer last night and the particular scripture I read hit my so hard last night.

I KNOW the church is true, I have always known it. I could never deny the spirit I have felt and things I know to be true. I know that I have a loving Heavenly Father that loves me and sent down his Son, Jesus Christ to this earth to suffer for our sins and die for us that we might be resurrected one day. I know that my family can be forever and that truly is one of the greatest blessings I will receive. I know that Joseph Smith restored the church and translated the Book of Mormon and that if we read the Book of Mormon and follow it's directions we will come closer to our Heavenly Father and become more like our Saviour. I don't need to know every detail about my church's past but that doesn't mean I don't want to continue to learn and with that learning I will continue to seek the spirit and use the sacred gift I was given when I got baptised, the gift of The Holy Ghost.

I LOVE the gospel, I love my testimony and the strength it has given me and continues to give me. I know we all may have different beliefs and that is ok but when people put down the church or the people in it, it makes me sad. No one is perfect, that is why each of us are here, so we can learn and become like our Saviour. The gospel however is perfect but is led by imperfect people trying their best to lead and guide us. I know though if I put my faith in Christ, The Holy Ghost will testify to me what is true. The night we prayed with my Dad before he passed away will always be one of the most amazing spiritual experiences I have ever had. That night more than any other time I KNEW that the church was true and I knew that if I kept the commandments I would be with my Dad/family again.

I hope we can all follow the spirit and trust in the Lord. I have friends of all different faiths and I love that. I would never put someone else down for what they believe or don't believe. I just wanted to write this for myself and to testify of the things that I believe. I feel blessed to be a member of The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and to know that I can be with my family forever as my family and the gospel are the most important things in my life. Life can be hard at times but even through those hard times I truly am blessed, I love life and I'm eternally grateful for my testimony :)